jen's blog

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Saturday, January 19, 2013

this landed on my heart . . .

When I was young, I asked more of people

than they could give: everlasting friendship,

endless feeling. Now I know to ask less

of them than they can give: a straightforward companionship. And their feelings,

their friendship, their generous actions

seem in my eyes to be wholly miraculous:

a consequence of grace alone.

~Albert Camus, The First Man

Friday, January 11, 2013

words about judgement from D. LaPorte

Curatives for judgement. (Please read before you interact with other humans.)

“Have compassion for everyone you meet, even when they don’t want it. What seems conceit, bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone.”
- Miller Williams

He was rude. He cut you off in traffic. She’s aloof, cold, curt. He’s on the corner asking for a hand out. She lies. He’s money hungry. She’s grossly overweight. No one returned your phone call. They left without saying goodbye.

You might never know the why behind someone’s less-than-ideal, not-the-way-you-wish-it-was behavior.

Here’s a curative for the sharp judgement that often accompanies our disappointment in others — just a single, surprising expansive phrase: You just never know. Use it before you jump to conclusions that someone’s a jerk, or that they need an attitude adjustment, or that they could be doing better than they are.

The Mantra of Practical Compassion:
“You just never know.”

I’ve been to enough ridiculous self help workshops, heard enough stories in airport bars, and had enough one-on-one conversations about so-called “success” to know that there’s a story behind every demeanor. I’ve kept my own pain hidden in plain sight and thought, “If they only knew”. But you just never know…

You just never know if
: someone has just been diagnosed and is thinking about all they have to lose.
: their lover just texted them to say, “it’s over”.
: he wakes up every day thinking he’s about to fail, fearing that everyone else in the world knows something that he doesn’t.

You just never know if
: she’s in the middle of a divorce and is about to go on stage.
: before he was your driver, or your waiter, he was a doctor in his homeland.
: their spirit was fractured as a child by unspeakable things.
: she is frightened — all the time.
: he resists life itself — all the time.
: they are frail from lack of love.

You never know if
: they’re faking loving the heart-hollowed life they fought so hard to make.
: chemicals are coursing through them in destabilizing ways.
: she hasn’t slept through the night in months and months.
: they’ve experienced a loss that will leave a gaping wound for the rest of this incarnation.
: today is especially hard and they’re doing their best, while they wish for just a little more than what they’ve got.

Suspend judgement as a practice of your faith in something true, common, and bigger than today.

Avoiding conclusions can be a monumental act of love.

--Danielle LaPorte

a new year . . .

It's a new year and I learned a new skill! Yesterday, I figured out how to post my photos in a collage! I am feeling VERY proud of myself.

The new year is in full force but I wanted to archive more Christmas moments. On Christmas morning, we shared our gifts to each other. Grandparents came over which made the day extra special!

I kinda hated to see Christmas end this year. As long as we were preparing for Christmas, it was easier to put off graduation plans. But here we are. . . ready or not.

Happy New Year!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

McCullough Christmas

We celebrated Christmas with my mom and Dennis at their house. Brooke came along with us and Zach's mom, Maggie, also celebrated with us. Zach's dad was still in the hospital in Grand Forks.

Mom always decorates so nicely and the food is amazing! Prime rib, clam chowder, garlic mashed potatoes, french bread . . .

Kim also brought lots of treats! I didn't bake anything this year. That's not a surprise but I do usually manage to bake 1 or 2 things for my family. Not this year, unfortunately. My mom and I did make lefse in November and I think that counts! We made about 10 batches and are still pulling it out of the freezer. And the more that I think about it, that WAY counts!:)

And the star of the show . . . little Henley Roger!

I love to watch a baby wiggle on a cool blanket after being stripped of clothing and a lot of warm hugs!

Henley seemed so happy to have his "church clothes" off and wiggle in freedom!

His arms were just flying . . . so funny!

Time for jammies and gifts.

Grandpa Jeff and Henley admired the tree. Grandpa Jeff . . . still makes me smile!

I found my little pumpkins on mom's tree. She has all the grandkids framed and every year it's fun to see their little faces. Sammy . . .

Ben . . .

Isaac . . .

A familiar scene . . . kids gathered around grandma's Nintendo 64! So funny! Something about this system. I think it will always be their favorite!

Grandma Kim and Henley taking a break. Something about the way a baby's fingers curl around ours that is heavenly.

pretty gifts . . .

Desrochers, Aaron, and Emily weren't able to join us this year. We really missed them . . .

. . . more gaming!

Great-grandma's turn!

It's so nice to have our college kids home.

I expected Henley to crash during the evening but he kept up with all of us!

. . . time to open presents!

. . . and more presents!

I love these pictures of the boys around the Nintendo! I think it reminds me of when they were little. This scene, the backs of their heads and lots of laughter, has played out over and over through the years. The bodies just get bigger but they are still our little boys.