jen's blog: June 2013

Thursday, June 27, 2013

I'm catching up on Danielle's posts . . . meaningful words in her edgy style

Why I burned my journals & celebrate my insignificance.

I burned about 20 years of journals. Pages and pages of gut-red poetry and angst; cosmic gorgeousness and tender prayers; lists of wants, boyfriends (a loose term), and favourite perfumes.

With every page I fed into the fireplace, I smiled. Thank you. Goodbye. Hellohhh here & now.

REASONS FOR THE BIG BURN

1. I'm not interested in the idea of leaving a legacy. If I die tomorrow and vanish from everyone's memories, fine by me. I'm here for now.

2. I love deep and I'm very ritualistic, but I'm not very nostalgic.

3. I love my present and I love my future. I love the vastness of my past. But I've found that investing in the future has way better ROI (Return On Investment).

4. I've come to the conclusion that reliving pain is actually not that conducive to my joy, growth, or creativity. Nope, it just isn't. I've tried recapitulation and obsessive attachment as a means to self-improvement, and it blows. I can find plenty to be sad about in my current life -- I don't need to dig up old material.

5. I love ritual and adore fire. So, duh, let's BURN THE PAST. Really, if you want to burn something DOWN, invite me. Funeral pyre, anyone? I'll bring the matches.

6. For me, clutter-free living is up there with rainbows, front row seats, and answered prayers.

INSIGHTS FROM THE BURN

1. It helped me become even more glaringly aware of my insignificance on the planet. I find this thrilling. Generally, I'm happy with the work I put into the world. No false modesty here. But realistically, not long after I die my work will fade from view. Beyond say, my great-grandchildren, if they ever come to be, I'm dust on this plane. Dust to dust.

Personal insignificance is provocative when you're making your art. Remembering how insignificant you are helps you to be more daring, more honest, more ... here.

2. Privacy is powerful energy to harness. One of my favourite things about being alive is the fleeting intimacy of events. Me. You. A moment only we shared. Gone. God, I love that compression of the sacred and the mundane. I like knowing that most everything will never happen again. So let it go.

3. I want my past to move through me like water. I want my ideal future to come to me as easily. Fluid yesterday, fluid tomorrow.

4. You get to make it all up anyway. History is malleable because memory is subjective.

Do not give your past the power to define your future.

There are historians. There are burners. I'd never advise on journal-burning matters. But I can tell you this: Traveling lighter helps me shine brighter.

Monday, June 24, 2013

more from Danielle LaPorte's blog . . .

Validating your pain is the first step to getting stronger.

I have dental “issues.” I’m one of the (apparently) very small percentage of people who are very difficult to freeze. There are theories, previous orthodontic work, mystery nerve configurations … I’ll spare you. But you can imagine how dental experiences might go in these cases.

Most often, dentists say something like, “There’s absolutely no way you can feel that,” and then they proceed with the drill. And I endure, thinking, It’s all in my head, or, It’s meant to hurt a bit, and I deep-breathe and body-clench my way through it.

Until I found my current dentist. He started a procedure, I started to wince, and he said, “You can feel that, can’t you!” And I mumbled, “Ya! I CAN!” And he said, very kindly, “You’re one of those!” Eureka! And I started to get teary, not from pain but from relief that finally, someone got me, and finally, I knew it wasn’t in my head. I could feel it.

So ya, I have dental baggage. But I recently got permission to put it down …

I’m having a basic dental cleaning. The hygienist hits a spot and my whole body jerks. It was far from excruciating, it was just, nervy. We actually both laughed at how dramatic my physical reaction was.

And … my first response was, “It’s okay.” In a nano-second I told myself, despite the evidence, that it didn’t actually happen. “Keep going, I can take it,” I told her. And then this: “But you shouldn’t have to take it,” she said. “We can make this easy for you.” And she gave me a pinch of freezing in the right place and we sailed on.

Default refrain: I can take it.
Paradigm-shifting response: But you shouldn’t have to.

VALIDATING YOUR PAIN IS THE FIRST STEP TO SANITY, STRENGTH & HEALING

Acknowledgement first, analysis second. If you have a reaction — a rush of emotion, a dark thought lunges in, a curious question circles your mind, your stomach flips, or your heart goes ba-boom — then something is really actually, for real, for sure happening to you. You’re having an experience that is true for you. Never mind qualifying how justifiable or sane your painful or fearful reaction is, just notice that it is really happening — because denying it is a form of insanity.
Endurance can be a very unwise choice. As inevitable as emotional and physical suffering is, it doesn’t always serve to make us stronger — sometimes it just wears you right down. Sometimes, the test of strength is to say “This isn’t working,” the millisecond it’s not working.
Believe your pain. It’s not a friend you want to invite over, but when it does show up, it always — always — brings you precious information about what’s best for you.
Dare to be high maintenance. I bet you’re invincible in many areas of your life. But when you need it, ask for special treatment.
You want people on your team who believe you. I have friends who would be dead now if they didn’t keep looking for a doctor who believed what they said or how their body was responding. Keep searching for a lover who understands your vision of partnership, a collaborator who can see your dream, friends who are tuned in enough to say, “Is everything okay?”

Healing happens in resonance, not opposition.
If it hurts, it hurts.

Bring your pain into the light and everything changes.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

state tennis tournament

7:00 a.m. on Monday morning, the tennis team took off for the State Tennis Tournament. This is the 10th year in a row that TRF is section champs.

The tournament started Tuesday morning. The boys listen to the rules as they are read to the teams. Something struck Sam funny. . .

This guy is the coordinator of the tournament and he thoroughly goes over the rules. Love his podium:)

My dad and Jo joined us again this year. We watched a lot of tennis, ate a lot, and did some shopping. I was so glad Ben was able to get off of work to go with us. Brooke stayed with us too!

The boys are introduced.

We competed against a private school, Breck, 8:00 a.m. Tuesday morning.

Isaac and Devin played #3 Doubles.

Sam and Jorde were #1 Doubles.

Isaac and Devin played on the court right next to Sam and Jorde.

Coaches watching on . . .

I got some nice shots without having to edit them.

. . . kind of a cool series of shots of Sam.

Isaac and Devin competed so well!

I think this is the score of our match against Breck. We were ahead! We ended up losing but had to capture this moment. :)

And now we play Virginia.

Love these next two shots. . .

Connor drove over from Mankato. So good to see him. Ben and Connor went to a concert that night in downtown Mpls. . . "Rival Sons". I got to see video of the performance and it looked amazing!